Think of the most beautifully wrapped gift you’ve ever received. Did it live up to the expectations you had after seeing the wrapping? Were you misled by the outward beauty and you felt let down by the gift inside?
Now think of your best friend. Are they a beautifully wrapped gift all the time? Just like everyone else they probably have a few wrinkles in their wrapping paper sometimes. Maybe their edges are frayed or the tape holding them together has lost its hold. Maybe their wrapping has lost its shine as they’ve gotten older. Does that make the contents any less vibrant? The answer is “no”.
Now think of a person you met that surprised you by their inner qualities. Not judging a book by its cover, or a gift by its wrapping, has led to some pretty interesting relationships. You may lose out on a particularly amazing gift of friendship if you concentrate on someone’s wrapping paper.
Look in a mirror. Are you always satisfied with your own wrapping paper? Mine loses its luster when I’m sick and my ribbons (hair) leave a lot to be desired most mornings. I work on my outer wrapping to assure others there is a lot to my contents. Granted, some days I leave the house in plain wrapping paper and other days in more ornate paper, but I am always aware that there are those who are judging me by my wrapping paper.
If we all had the same wrapping paper, by human nature it seems, we would find fault with someone’s ribbons not being curly enough, their edges not being crisply folded, their tape being less than sticky and the wear and tear making them less attractive.
In our human skin, wrapped beautifully in different colors, we tend to judge others by their wrapping paper decorations (tattoos, piercings, etc), the color (whether light or dark or any shade in between), how the wrapping is wrapped (clothes and accessories), the ribbons on top (hair styled in so many different styles – or none at all) mean nothing when we are trying to point out a person is different.
Why can’t we embrace diversity? A child will pick the biggest and most ornate gift set out on a table and be disappointed when there is only an inexpensive toy inside while another child that receives a gift wrapped in newspaper is grateful and surprised at the expensive item inside the wrapping. See with the eyes of a child that has not experienced greed or the socially accepted entitlement that seems to be rampant these days.
Everyone should be grateful for any gift, material or otherwise, and cherish the contents instead of looking for external differences to hold against the gift giver.
Author: Betsilyn
Elon Musk
Elon Musk. As of January 10, 2021 he was the richest man in the world. All I need is 1 (one) million dollars and I would be free to use my talents to help others that truly need that lift to help themselves. I can only imagine what he can do with billions. Wow. I can’t even wrap my head around billions of dollars and the freedom to be able to grab someone off the street that just needs an opportunity, give them a makeover and a new suit or dress and get them a job interview with an apartment leased for a month. Leave it up to them to make it or break it but give them support in the meantime. Especially if they are trying to change their circumstances.
I’d add more pianos in parks and more windchimes in trees near outside cafes. I’d hire people to teach kids in after school programs. Things such as dance, music, sports, painting, writing, etc. School and after school care that would be productive and make productive individuals while letting parents work and have a support system.
I’d get land and create villages of homes for the veterans that have given for their country and have no family for support and nothing except a cardboard box as a possession. There would be a medical facility and grocery and pharmacy facilities for the veterans to access without judgement. There would be a mall with grooming facilities and exercise areas. There would be many things within reach so the ones that have seen things the general public will never see, and be burdened to replay in their minds over and over, would have solace and the help they need to adjust and heal.
There would be soup kitchens and shelters with closets of clothes that are not being thrown into landfills, but being reused to help someone get back on their feet. In these shelters there would be classes to help people learn to read and write, learn skills and get direction to find their own homes, jobs and the ability to sustain themselves. Everyone deserves a chance to be self sufficient. Those who need medical help can be directed to the help they need. Facilities that would help people and not just put them away from society’s eyes. Retraining people to be productive and hold their heads high and be proud that they have made progress.
So many dreams that could be solved with money. So many dreams that could be realized without money if only people would look beyond themselves.
If our nation would put back into our own people instead of sending loads of money to other countries, maybe we could be “united” again. There would not be male/female, black/white, young/old. We would see each other as individuals. Without any judgements. And we would again be the most admired and powerful country because we reinvested in ourselves.
Billions … of dollars … I’m still trying to imagine. I can still hope for that million that I could control.
Be the change …
Touch Your Nose and Hop on One Foot
Simon Says. Most have played this game in one context or another. It was fun when we were small and even into our preteen and teenage years. It was so fun to play with friends. Simon Says, take two steps forward … Simon Says, touch your nose … hop on one foot … awwwwww, if we hopped that sent us back to the beginning because Simon didn’t say hop on one foot. Lots of laughs mixed with some bad sports. After all was done another game was played or it was dinner time and playing would proceed later. Tag, Hide and Seek, bike riding, ding dong ditch as well as other games that didn’t require any game boards or playing pieces and rules that could be changed and made up as we went. Rules made up as we went adding to the basic rules agreed upon with all players.
Now we’re adults and the Simon Says that we play affects us, our families, our friends, our jobs and even our environment. It’s hard to jump when society and the government say we have to do exactly what is said and play by their rules. Written, unflexible rules. Rules that are needed to keep peace and direction. We elect people to stand for us and what we want as “rules”. Sometimes we have to play with rules we don’t agree with and sometimes we can agree to play by the rules set by the elected officials. This becomes a “trickle-up” theory as local officials answer to other officials that answer to other officials and soon our rules that we wanted enforced get lost under the umbrella of larger government bodies that have melted all rules to what they believe will be best for the people they represent. Not as simple as Simon Says anymore.
The Christian Bible states to follow the laws of the land. It also speaks of the evil that lies in wait for those who cannot recognize the disguises of evil. Are rules evil? Not in the least. They help to give guidance and consequences when broken. We need rules in society, at home and at work. It’s not the need of rules, but the rules themselves that bring out the good and bad in people.
The voting process allows us, as a people, to vote for the rules that we wish to have in place. Sometimes the rules we choose are not chosen by the majority and we have to follow the majority’s choice. Sometimes people get in the way and politics gets in the way. There have been times that evil has changed the true outcome and the chosen rules to satisfy some hidden agenda. This being said, the evil makes people not want to vote and have their voices heard for fear that evil will step in and instill rules that don’t have the majority vote. They think it doesn’t matter anyway so they keep their opinions stifled.
All the politics put aside … Simon Says is the most simple way to describe “rules”. Follow the rules and if you want to change the rules, do something about it when the times comes to change the rules and discuss the pros and cons. But, also as in Simon Says request the change of rules and be willing to accept the changes with grace and compromise.
Now, go change the world one “rule” at a time.
The Blade to the Wrist for Words
Sometimes writing is easy. Feelings and ideas melt into words on a page. Other times it’s like having to cut into a vein in the wrist to get anything to flow. But, that is the messy way things get strewn around on a page. This can also lead to a new idea plucked from the middle of the mess. There is no right or wrong way to write. Just write. The main problem I had was feeling I must edit as I go. This wreaks havoc on the story. I have learned through many outlets that just writing is the best way to start.
NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) in November has taught me a lot. The premise is to write 50,000 words in the month of November. No editing, no rethinking, just getting all the words in motion. The editing and rewriting comes later. The boldness it takes to just write without going backwards is fun and adventurous. I have cheated a little and made notes with asterisks to look back on when I edit. It may be an addition to a scene or a note to research a subject to add to the subject being discussed. This outlet has been the best way to get my direction and habits formed. I do have yet to get a good manuscript or type written story completed to my liking. But, I haven’t given up.
I have, once again, started a story. I have nicked my wrist and have strewn words on a page. This one nick is all I needed to get the idea for my story. I will continue to dedicate time daily to this story. Just writing. Editing later, but continuously strewing words on the page whether easily or by a quick nick. I look forward to finishing this one and then cleaning it up later. I look forward to getting words on a page. No, I look forward to getting words on pages until I am done.
I will post my progress whether good or bad. My process. My wins and my losses. Hopefully, my journey can help someone else get direction as I have.
Drop a comment if it helps you or if you have any helpful information!
“A book is a dream you hold in your hand.” ~ Neil Gaiman
New Year New … Cliche
It’s normally stated that New Year New You is the way to go. How about just celebrating the New Year as what it is. The turning of the calendar to a new year. Take the opportunity at any time to start a new tradition, diet, exercise program, blog, craft or anything your heart desires. Start a journal at any time of year and just go from there. What a rebel you will be!
Break the “tradition”. Start a journal when you get engaged. Start a new journal when you get married. You can look back on feelings and things that you did before you got married and after. The little things get lost in the memories and all the clutter of the mind.
Break the “tradition”. Start a journal on your next birthday and make sure to notate all the big things that make your heart smile during that year. And details. Details get lost as we age and collect memories.
Break the “tradition”. As calendars typically start on January 1st, don’t be part of the New Year New You cliche. Renew yourself anytime you feel the need. Celebrate your victories as you see fit. Make goals. Celebrate when you reach your goals. Your life is not on a time limit even though you have limited time. Make the best of every second. Don’t give yourself time limits. Just set goals. Make them attainable and set new goals when attained.
Want to lose weight? Set goals in increments of 5 lbs, 10 lbs or whatever you don’t feel threatened by. Even if you need to lose a large amount of weight, make it attainable in goals. Reward yourself with a new book, a new craft item, a new kitchen gadget or whatever will remind you that you succeeded. You can even journal your journey so you can look back on what pushed you through.
Make the New Year full of goals and not unattainable lists. So many people give up because the lists were made when there was hype because of the New Year. Celebrate every new day, new week and new month as well as every new year. If you want to make the New Year your starting point then so be it. Just don’t give up on your goals. Be goal driven. Every day, every week and every month of every year.
The Friend Request
What does it really take to become a friend? What investments are there? What risks do we take? What do we gain? And what do we ultimately lose?
At one time, friendships were grown. Two people invested time, effort, trust and knowlege in each other. In today’s high tech society we invest in friendships we may never be able to invest anything other than a few mouse clicks and some encouraging words. We like the same things so we must be friends. Right?
We throw the word ‘friend’ around like we have become used to saying we “love” everything. I love Chinese food … I love my car … I love my home. When in fact we enjoy these things and maybe even immensely enjoy these things. I truly enjoy Chinese cuisine. A lot. I have a car that suits my needs and I really enjoy driving and travelling in it. I really enjoy my home because it has everything I need and many things that I consider above my needs and maybe in my list of wants.
We know people on Facebook because they are our friends by friend request. What if you were sent a character statement for one of your Facebook friends? Could you really account for their character? For their reliability? Granted some we do know, but a lot are friends of friends or members of groups we have joined or people we knew a long time ago and were reconnected through social media.
I have numerous people that I chat with and exchange ideas and pleasantries with as well as discussing whatever drew us to each other in the first place. Crafts, cats, dogs, books, home decor and numerous other things that intrigue us. Then there are a couple of really close friends that I am mutually invested in. We have spent time together, shared secrets, shared dreams and heartaches. We have become close with each others’ families and when we make comments on social media we are doing so in a heartfelt manner. Not just a formality.
Feelings tend to give us freedom to express ourselves. Good, bad or indifferent. What we feel is shared on social media with people we know and those that we are acquaintances with. Do we really want the deepest threads of our souls bared for all to see? I think not. And then here I am baring my soul.
Should we revamp our “friends list”? Facebook and our real lives. Christianity teaches to love the sinner and hate the sin and that we all are sinners. Does that mean we are to become intertwined in each others’ lives to a point that we cannot discern who is trustworthy and who just needs someone to use as a soundboard? Again, I think not. We do have to guard ourselves, but we also need that closeness it takes to share the pain, joy, love and intrigue it takes to sort our feelings.
A true friend celebrates you and encourages you. A true friend will tell you when you mess up and help you through the mess. Be mindful of who you share anything with … before you share. I have a couple of friends that are celebrating my new home, my four hour move from them to start a new life, my new relationship and even my new dishes for my new kitchen … with me. I can’t imagine sharing the smallest of details with any other people. We have already shared so much that it is second nature to call or text them at a minute’s notice.
Distance yourself from the drama and “neediness” that comes with the vague relationships we have at the click of a mouse. The need to feed a relationship that is not growing. Invest in the relationships that are worthy of your time, your energy and your details. We lose nothing if we have invested nothing.
NaNoWriMo Prep
Should I start something new or should I work on something I’ve already started? I think I’ll grab an idea I’ve been working on and see what I can flesh out.
I worked on an idea several years ago. We should always feed or dreams and squash the dream killers. So, I have decided that since I am no longer connected to my main dream killer, I will pursue the guts and structure of my favorite story.
I was excited to see the notation on the NaNoWriMo website that encouraged working on new or old ideas. I have always started fresh ON November 1st. This year I have my outline and I have the dream captured in my Microsoft Word program. There is no right way to get a novel done. I will, however, write without editing.
I always write and edit, write and edit. Two steps forward and one step back. Never getting ahead. I will write until my eyes bleed and not be concerned about editing until after November 30th. This is MY way this year. My plan is to write, write and write with no editing at all. I will put it away for the month of December and enjoy my new home with my new found old love (2 years November 3rd) and after 36 years apart and three marriages between us we are finally happy. Maybe I’ll write about that next year.
NANOWRIMO 2020
If you have never experienced NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) look it up and if the way you express yourself is through words, this may become a favorite yearly activity. Every November people from all over come together to encourage, be challenged and write a 50,000 word novel in one month.
I am so excited to start writing this year. I want to flesh out the book that I have stored inside me. I want to finish a complete idea and then clean it up and make it the story that it is meant to be. I want to be a published author. I have had that dream since I was 14-years-old and read my first V.C. Andrews book. As I read Flowers in the Attic I could feel the sunshine and smell the dust. Her writing is what peaked my interest and made me want to make someone else feel and smell and have their senses tickled.
Here’s to wrapping up 2020 with an amazing NANOWRIMO and putting forth the effort it takes to have a workable novel at the end of November.
Prepare to have the senses overloaded !
Me, Myself and I
I battle depression and anxiety daily … hourly … by the minute. God has helped me find His grace and become settled enough to give grace to others. I do take medications due to surgeries and missing hormones, but I am not a victim to the depression and anxiety as I once have been. That’s why I use the word “battle” … without help, I would surely fail. With God I believe all things are possible. He helps me battle and lends me warriors to help in this crazy world.
The Sheets and The Armor
Sheets of Armor is a phrase that somehow makes some think of a level of protection that is strong. This is what God showed me to be an accurate depiction of how society is a “show me” society. Faith is considered a weakness since there is no hard evidence that can be felt, seen, tasted, heard, or smelled.
If you’ve never noticed, the next time you wash sheets and put them on the bed notice the crisp, clean sheets, and the fresh smell. When the day is over, and you get to crawl into the bed that has those freshly cleaned sheets, take in the way the sheets feel and how it all smells. Notice how you can feel the crispness of the sheets and how each layer is so wrinkle free and taut. The next night notice how the sheets are taut as you had left the bed this morning when you made it. Feel how nice the sheets are even though the crispness is gone.
By the end of the week, the wrinkles are not as easy to make taut and the freshness of wash day is gone. The wrinkles are part of your sleep routine … for now. With the crispness gone after the first night, the sheets are washed and a new set is put on the bed. Once again, the night finds the sheets taut, crisp, and smelling fresh.
Now imagine you are in church on Sunday morning and the message is about putting on the full armor of God. The verses are from Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV – 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
On Monday, you go to work clothed in the Armor of God and ready. By the end of the day the armor is dented and the belt is frayed and the sword is very used. Feeling defeated, you fall into bed thinking this day was extraordinarily taxing. By the end of the week, the armor is even more dented and rusted and the sword is broken and the shoes are worn out. The dents and rust are part of your routine … for now. By Sunday, you fall into the church pew exhausted. In your mind, you review your week and how awful everything was. You have forgotten about the armor. You have forgotten why you go to church.
After church, you realize that you feel revitalized. Your armor has been repaired and you are ready for another week out in the world. You go to lunch with some people from church and tell them your thoughts. They are very encouraging and discuss their own trials and dented armors. You feel even better about the week to come knowing you are not alone in your journey.
You fall into bed feeling the taut, crisp sheets and inhaling the fresh smell and realize that just like the sheets that need to be cleaned and changed, your armor needs to be repaired, inspected, and cleaned regularly. Some parts may need renewing but following His direction will be the best part of slaying the dragons that show up to dent your armor and destroy your sword in an effort to destroy you. It is the enemy’s pleasure to trip you up and attempt to destroy what God has made you to be. But God will answer prayers and renew your soul as long as you ask Him. Pray without ceasing.
So, enjoy the taut, crisp sheets and put on your armor daily. Even if you stay in your bed all day, put on your armor. Be prepared at all times.
I Am Betsilyn 